Metamorphosis

Since my early childhood, I loved reading. My favorite tales were by Hans Christian Andersen. I loved them all, however two of them that are close to me are 'The Ugly Duckling' and 'The Snow Queen'. Both tell the story of change. The ugly duckling travels through confusion and looks for his true identity. The storyline in 'The Snow Queen' is more complicated, as there are several coaligning journeys: one of Gerda, who is loyal, resilient and never gives up; second of Gerd, who is lured into a 'better life' that happens to be isolated and cruel, and third of the Queen, who is self-centered and only respects those who fulfill her needs. 

I feel like everyone listened to tales and stories in their childhood. I feel many people can still remember their favorite story, main characters and why they liked them (or disliked them). 

Every culture around the world created their own tales and legends and developed story telling. The way of telling stories may have varied - people could gather and take turns, parents/grandparents could tell stories to children, it could be theatre or some kind of performance, it could take the form of a song, people could take turns like a competition, or it could have been one person, the wise one, who told stories. Sometimes the story was told by animals or elements or God(s)/Deities. Their tales and legends were created to share knowledge. Some of them contained historical facts, and some of them are made to teach something or entertain. With time the spoken word was replaced by books or tapes or movies, however the purpose of story telling didn't change. Most of them introduce some universal truth, have a message, something that we should take on board or think about. It was always nice to know that justice prevailed and a lesson was learnt. In some of them we can find pieces of our own life, our joys and struggles, hopes and betrayals, something we can relate to or something that inspires us. 

Every character in a story has to come through some obstacle, learn things, make choices that usually lead to some sort of resolution or a happy ending. It is quite amazing to think that different cultures during the history of humankind developed mythologies where characters had personality traits or tasks to do to similar to characters of other cultures. Carl Jung called them archetypes. 

We all have a story and coming to therapy is about telling your story. It might be a struggle, because you are not a story teller or you are not used to talking about yourself. It might be nice to tell your story when you are ready or you like talking. It might take time to tell your story because you might dislike it. It might be a very difficult task to tell your story because there are burdensome or heartbreaking parts to it making it untellable. It might be very hard to tell your story because you are ashamed of things that you did or did not do. You also might choose not to tell your full story, but concentrate only on certain aspects of it. Whatever it is - in therapy - emotionally safe, non judgmental and confidential space is provided for you and your story will be listened to attentively. 

I feel many people can relate to aspects of tales and stories that they heard in childhood or whenever in life. This can create metaphors that are helpful to them e.g. I struggle with my family like Harry Potter did with his aunt and uncle. I encourage the use of metaphors frequently in my job. I particularly like the metaphor of metamorphosis. Many dictionaries verify that the word 'metamorphosis' comes from the Greek language and describes a process of transformation from one state to another, a change of shape or maturity. Many of us are familiar with the life cycle of a butterfly. A caterpillar transforms through different stages to reach its most mature form of a butterfly. Other organisms morph in similar ways, like rocks: carbon goes through a transformation to become diamonds. These processes can be compared to what might happen with a person who comes to therapy. That person might have 'butterflies in their stomach' and might want those butterflies to transform into calmness and steadiness or disappear altogether. Each person has the potential to work on their problems and morph into a different, better version of themselves. They mature through exploring their emotions, analyzing events, and working through what needs to be worked through.

Growth might be gut wrenching but it is also immensely enriching. There are many positive and negative elements to this process leading to letting go what is not needed. Trying to have an open mind and looking outside of the box to find solutions is helpful. My role is to support you through that process, assist you with any concerns and celebrate each new stage that your personal journey, recovery or healing takes you to. 

might be painful but it is also rewarding. There are many positive and worthwhile elements to t

Every human being has different needs that have to be met in order to live a fulfilling life. When needs are unmet, a person might struggle with some aspects of their life, or with life as a whole. Abraham Maslow - American psychologist - carefully observed and studied human needs during the Second World War and came up with a model called the Hierarchy of Needs. The model (picture above) describes different needs that we all have, starting from very basic needs that support our physical existence: air, water, shelter, clothing and reproduction, then moving towards safety needs that are important but not essential for survival: personal security, employment, resources, health, property. The needs after that are very desirable and most people cannot emotionally function if their needs for friendship, love, intimacy, family and sense of belonging are unmet. The idea behind this model is that if the most essential needs are met, then a person can fulfill more sophisticated needs like esteem and recognition in community which make their life more complete. Maslow thought that if the essential needs are not met, a person cannot fulfill the needs that follow (which is debatable as many people have proved that it is possible otherwise). What everybody agrees with is that this model, as a template, can be applied to absolutely everybody and that if some needs are unmet - a person can suffer great discomfort and stress. Despite the fact that the model can be applied to everybody - we are all different and our personal hierarchy of needs varies. Sometimes people know that their needs are unmet and they strive to have them met, e.g. someone who is actively looking for a partner to be in a loving relationship. Sometimes people are unsure what needs should be met e.g. someone who graduated from college and feels unsure what is 'the next right step' or someone who suddenly lost their job and simply feels 'lost'.

In many ways counselling and psychotherapy can help. It starts with a brave decision to engage with a therapist and like in the legends mentioned above - telling your story, exploring your needs, soul searching for answers, applying solutions to the problems and finding the motivation and resilience to morph into a better version of oneself.

For the body: It is also worth mentioning that there is a treatment called Metamorphosis developed by Robert St. John. This treatment has nothing to do with psychotherapy, however it might be worth considering. More information: http://www.metamorphosis-rstjohn.com/

For the soul: This music is also called Metamorphosis. I like it because it is relaxing, maybe it will inspire you to start your transformation and tell your story: https://youtu.be/M73x3O7dhmg